I was raised with the whole “Do unto others…” thing and believe in it wholeheartedly, but the longer I live, the more I’ve learned to show myself the love I so often shower on others instead.

When given a choice – you can live or you can die, and the end result is because of the choices you make, something very interesting happens. Our appreciation for ourselves and our bodies and lives increases exponentially. Our self-love when we heal ourselves has more passion than a Harlequin romance.

I’m done doing things I don’t want because I feel obligated. I’m done smiling at people who I don’t want to smile at. I’m done comparing myself to anyone or anything. I’m done feeling guilty because I’m not a party girl and don’t go out often. I’m done kissing anyone’s ass and see us all as the same – equal – no student, no master. I’m done pretending to accept things I don’t. I’m done with any inauthentic piece of me and I’m done explaining why.

But you know what I actually am from all the things I’m not?

I’m healthier because of being firm in my resolutions. I have more abundant relationships with wonderful people instead of empty interactions. I’m sure of myself because any nay-saying is silenced. I’m calm because I feel good in my skin. I’m a better person when I stop the noise.

We’ve all lived through hell, our scars shape who we are. But life doesn’t have to stay a struggle, it doesn’t have to stay a mountain to climb. We don’t have to stay in a place of self-loathing or self-destruction. See, they didn’t teach that when I went to elementary, I had to learn that by living.

And learning to love yourself is something no one else can do but you.