10 Ridiculous Inventions In My Mind

Apple will develop a waterproof laptop as people have their computers with them as if they are attached by an umbilical cord. At the beach, in the tub, in the sleazy motel Jacuzzi, there definitely would be a market for these in a) Hollywood and b) everywhere else.

The Everyday Closet is a walk in boudoir that, within seconds, transforms Plain Jane to Super Hottie Can’t Be Tamed. Punch in the preprogrammed code for the type of outfit you’re looking for, or, play the Magic 8 Ball and let the boudoir pick for you. Stylist in a cube. Step in, strut out.

The World Health Organization will authorize the addition of some type of radio active material in the water, on a global scale. When people drink this water, something in the radio active ingredient will react in the humans system, completely cleansing their whole body, not only in a physical way but also emotionally ‘get out the bleach and tidy up’. The only problem is, they haven’t tested it long enough, therefore will need an anecdote within 5 years for those who have ‘adverse’ reactions.

Holographic Tattoos will be all the rage. In the same realm, they’ve developed Scratch n Sniff tattoo ink, as well as 3D laser beam ink. Not only would your body art speak volumes, it also doubles as a flashlight, a green screen for boardroom presentations and a calculator. Also, some ink is solar powered and gives the bearer a little extra energy, perfect for the winter blues.

A handheld device that auto tunes one’s voice as soon as it is recorded. Since we live in a digital world already, it only makes sense that the airbrushed part of society would surface even further so that people could record their vocals from home or in the car or in the shower, it won’t matter, it’s automatic auto tune. Radio-ready rhymes! For the super serious, they have transdermal versions.

Conveniently enough for stay-at-home producers, the music industry will never be the same with the invention of the Hoverchair. Don’t even bother getting up from your seat to turn on your dusty PC for old files, fill the built-in right-hand side arm cooler with your favorite beverage and use caution if you break out the added feature of the George Foreman grill to the left. These are special order only. These Hoverchairs are also custom built for the avid sports fan, in their team colours. Also special order.

Sleep deprivation chambers have become very popular versus tropical resort holidays. Why? Because these now offer, with the close of a door, ‘travellers’ to sleep for X amount of time. 3 day holiday? 4 days? A whole week? During their restful holiday, ‘travellers’ get to enjoy such benefits as daily massage, facilitated sleep workouts, delicious treats through osmosis and laser weight loss and saturation tanning if you take the upgraded package.

Pets that do not have to be fed are invented. Similar to compost, these pets are made with recycled materials already in their system. While they are awake, the recycled materials heat up and melt, as if it was digestion. When the animal gets tired, the recycled matter solidifies again for the next time Toto rustles. Kinda like a lava lamp, I guess.

Calorie-free alcohol. The chemical make-up of alcohol has been challenged with the invention that turns booze into H2O but keeps the taste. Does the trick without sittin’ on the hips. The reason it was decided that this would be allowed is that the medical bills due to inactivity, see below for another option, were skyrocketing and but cutting out the caloric value, society as a whole, became slimmer.

Physical movement will be a form of employment. A device, Mobile, will be invented for anyone of the general population to invest in, making themselves their own boss. This device will chart all physical activity that the person does, as well as their vitals and send it in to the Government. This will in turn, assist in medical research as to what would happen to society if they moved their bodies instead of sitting in their Hoverchairs. Every month, the computers at Revenue Canada print off cheques and deposit them to those who are ‘Mobile’, as the product is named, and all vitals are charted in pie graphs for scientists to study further.

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